Looking Too Far Ahead

 Last week, one of my assignments was to create a short-term goal (to complete within 3 months) and a long-term goal (to complete within a year).  Now, the short-term goal was no problem, mostly because it was a goal of mine even before this assignment.  However, the long-term goal shouldn't have been, but it was...a problem for me.

 If you remember this, I posted last January a few of my New Year's Resolutions.  And I said I was "dead serious" about them.  I really wanted to complete all these goals in 2012, but I knew, in my heart, I wouldn't.  I knew, Lord-willing, I'd accomplish a handful of them, if that.  But there was one that I was really excited about and I had my heart set on it: becoming a college Junior by December 31st, 2012.  I hoped and prayed that if any, this would be the one that would actually happen.  It was looking pretty possible when I passed Introductory Sociology.  However, when I took four months on Natural Sciences and failed that test, which just so happened to be 6 credits, that goal started to slowly fade.  After that test, it wasn't very sensible to study and take another test in the three weeks I had before I left for Brazil.  Mainly because of everything I needed to do in preparation for Brazil.  After Brazil, of course, I wanted to take a recuperation break.  And I needed to finish some other high school work... And there went July.  In August, I started studying for Introduction to Computing, which, praise the Lord, I passed at the beginning of September.  Then this course came along.  This is a 16 week course crunched into 8 weeks.  Because I'm also slowly working on my Senior year of high school, studying for an additional test on top of the that and this course would not have turned out pretty.

 All that to say: if that initial goal was still my goal (which it's not), I would have exactly 73 days to earn 24 credits.  No.  That's not going to happen.

 Anyway, back to my assignment.  So there I'm sitting looking at how slow I'm going at this college thing and I feel like a complete failure.  Then I start mapping things out into the future to find out when I could "reschedule" that goal: to become a college Junior.  Well, being the organized person I am, I felt the need to map out the rest of my degree.  The whole goal of this is not to take four to five years on my college degree.  I'm sitting there having an emotional breakdown because I'm so overwhelmed with everything I have to do and on top of that, I'm questioning if I chose the right major!

 I told my mom, "We need to sit down and discuss this now.  Because I need to make a long term goal and I won't be a Junior until I'm 19 at this rate!"  Well, we sat down, laid out the rest of my high school life (which, by the way, is only seven months left!), and I still wasn't figuring out when I would become a college Junior.  My mom then took my list of tests I have left to take for college, and helped me lay out a schedule for the next seven months of high school work and college work so they fit together.  I will be a Junior, Lord-willing, by the time I graduate from high school.

 As for my degree?  I have no idea.  I was (and still kind of am) questioning whether I was going into the right major.  Would I really be good at the courses and test I'll be taking?  What kind of job can I get with this degree?  I was probably the crabbiest person alive that day.

 I am 17 years old.  I'm a Senior in high school.  That day, I felt like I had to lay out and make a schedule...for the rest of my life.  I feel that when I decided on a major, I was stuck.  That's what I had to do...for the rest of my life.  I don't.  I didn't.  My assignment that I had was just to make sure I knew how to set a long-term, attainable, and realistic goal.  They didn't tell me to plan the rest of my (hopefully) long life!  Besides, if they did...that's not biblical.  Thank the Lord, I never have to plan the rest of my life.  Yes, I should set attainable, realistic goals so that I learn diligence and responsibility and accountability, but I never need to worry about my future.

"Therefore, don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself..."   ~Matthew 6:34

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."   ~Jeremiah 29:11

"...all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."     ~Psalm 139:16

 He says it right there in the Bible!  He has my plans in His hands.  Plans not to harm me or stress me out but to give me hope and a future!  

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."    ~Proverbs 3:5-6

 All I have to do is trust in Him.  Not myself.  Not my goals.  Not my parents.  My heavenly Father.  The One Who tells me not to worry.  The One Who has magnificent plans for me.  The One Who wrote every single day I will ever have in my life in His book before any one of them came to be.  The One Who I can trust with all of my heart and the One Who will make my path straight.

****

321. seeing my cousins
322. attending my cousin's wedding
323. a LIVE meeting
324. encouragement from moms of LIVE girls
325. playing paintball as a family
326. catching up with another cousin
327. my coach who takes time in her vacation to talk to me
328. playing Sardines in the dark with friends
329. hair cut
330. watching shows with my Grandpa
331. buying crafty things for my craft weekend in a couple weeks
332. having a video call with a friend from Brazil (I love Skype!)
333. getting fun ideas for my grad party (a long ways away)
334. ordering new contacts
335. playing air hockey with my siblings
336. finding cute cards on sale
337. a very productive day of school
338. laughing with my brother & sister
339. having only one and a half weeks left of my course
340. my mom helping me understand my assignments better.

Love in Christ~
   Sierra