I remember when my mom first told me I'd be "courting". I was younger, so I didn't completely understand it, and therefore, wasn't able to completely accept it. But as I've gotten older, I've learned more and decided that I wasn't going to court because my parents were making me. I was going to court because it was a personal conviction of mine.
You may be wondering: just what is courting? Well, it's an alternative to dating. How is courtship different than dating? I'll give you a few differences which I showed my LIVE girls a few weeks ago. This information is taken directly from the book Before I Meet Prince Charming by Sarah Mally.
I really enjoyed this pin I saw. Mostly because I can relate.
- People date in order have a good time 'right now'. Many times they're not even ready for marriage. They aren't planning on a long-term commitment. But why date and get attached to someone who isn't going to be your life partner? The world's way is "now oriented" and God's way is "future oriented".
- Most people plan to date a number of people in order to get to know a variety of people -- then decide whom would be the best to marry. They don't realize that the process that forms bonds begins with the very first relationship. And the break-up process is very painful. The world's way involves the pain of separation. God's way involves no separation.
- The dating we see today is "me oriented" -- to bring me security, enjoyment, fulfillment, etc. But true love always puts others first and focuses on their needs. The world's way is to get. God's way is to give. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, "...[love] is not self-seeking...".
- The dating we see today is "me oriented" -- to bring me security, enjoyment, fulfillment, etc. But true love always puts others first and focuses on their needs. The world's way is to get. God's way is to give. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, "...[love] is not self-seeking...".
- People start dating long before they are considering marriage. Just think of all the "dating" happens even in middle school! Boys and girls "date" because it's a thrill or a tempting experiment - not because they are committed to this person. The world's way is for pleasure. God's way is for commitment.
- The Bible doesn't give any positive examples of anything even close to dating. In our modern world, everyone is comfortable with dating simply because everyone does it. The world's way is built on human thinking, tradition, and culture. God's way is always based on the Word of God -- biblical standards, principals, and goals.
- People date, planning to break up if things don't work out. This seems like practice for divorce -- not marriage! 1 Corinthians 13:7 says, "...[love] always perseveres." The world's way is temporary. God's way is permanent.
The other night, I sat down with my family. I also needed to complete the challenge I gave 16 other girls to complete. My dad has always said that us girls (it's just me and my sister who is 13) will only be allowed to date when we are 63 and he is dead. It's been his answer. We've just laughed. I thought it was time we knew. I will be 18 in three months (eeeek! :D). I need to know what the process will be.
He certainly didn't want to talk about this. In fact, he started off the discussion with "not 'til I'm dead". But we made him get serious. He said for my sister, nothing is up for discussion. There will not be any talk of it. However, when he turned to me he said if any guy came to my dad right now, he would say "no" - that I'm not old enough yet. I asked, "and what would you say three months from now?" He said, "Obviously, it would depend on the guy, but it would be a possibility." Now...you may be thinking: oh my word, that must've been the most unproductive talk ever. You have no idea just how productive that was!
Because he's always been so closed-mouth about it, I've just set standards myself. But it's really nice to know where my dad stands - and that the standards I've set for myself align with his. I'm looking forward to entering this stage in life as a team with my parents. I won't be by myself. I don't know what I would do without their guidance.
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341. getting an 'A' on my first college course -- and 3 more credits!
342. scrapbooking and watching the movies for a whole weekend
343. such a blessed LIVE meeting
344. the anticipation of an upcoming party
345. knowing that God is in control
346. God's amazing ways of teaching me things
347. getting a postcard in the mail
348. understanding math
349. beginning to think about a grad party
350. a good night's sleep
Love in Christ,
Sierra
What a good post and talk! I haven't yet made sure to have a conversation like that with my Daddy, and my experience is a lot the same, we joke about the age, but have never gotten serious. It would be really great to hear what my Daddy seriously has to say, but it is scary to start the conversation!
ReplyDeleteHaven't talked to you in forever! :( I hope you've been having a great fall and that college is going well!!
Amber